A Shattered Boy And His Notebook
by Dikrats1234
Summary: Kurt wasn't always this way there was a time when he used to talk, hell he used to be a part of his old school's glee club. But, that was all before it happened. Now he attends Dalton Academy. Will Blaine, his ever handsome, roommate be able to piece back together Kurt's life, or will he be forever shattered? TRIGGERS: attempted suicide, talk of self-harm, hint of abuse.
1. Chapter 1: A New Start

Kurt wasn't always this way there was a time when he used to talk, hell he used to be a part of his old school's glee club. But, that was all before _it_ happened. That was the reason he was now sitting here, in his father's truck driving 2 and a half hours away. He was feeling so conflict. For one, he was relieved to be getting away from that hell-hole you call high school. But in the other hand he was sad to be leaving his friends, well mostly Mercedes and Rachel. Sighing deeply Kurt stared out the window, knees pulled to his chest, watching the raindrops fall down the window, his notebook resting between his knees and his shirt.

Burt glanced over at his son, the boy used to have so much life in his eyes, so much personality in his clothes. Now his eyes were just shadows of hurt and suffering, his clothes boring and too big. This wasn't the son he knew he had, wasn't Kurt; it was the outline of a broken kid. Burt would never forget the day that he got the phone call. A phone call parent ever wants to get.

_"Hello, is this Burt Hummel?" "Yes, this is him." "We have your son, Kurt her-" "I'm on my way" _

That was why he and Carol had decided to send Kurt to Dalton Academy.

_"They have a zero-tolerance bullying policy and on staff therapists. It's for the best, Kurt, you will be safe." Kurt scratched frantically on his notepad, that has been his inky way of communicating these past few weeks, but still only then does he ever really say a few words._

"_No, it's too much-" that was where Burt stopped reading and looked at his son. "Kurt, Carol and I have agreed that we want to do this. You mean the world to me Kiddo, and I would go through hell and back to make sure that you were safe." Burt knew not to reach out and try to touch his son, it would only make Kurt freak out so he just pleaded with his eyes. "Dalton is the right decision. You should go pack; we are leaving in the morning." _

That is how Kurt found himself walking into a large brick building the next day. Kurt felt so out of place here, the old Kurt would have jumped at the opportunity to go here, but that Kurt was gone. That Kurt wore designer clothes, at bargain prices; this Kurt wore baggy pants and an oversized sweatshirt. That Kurt would stand up tall, proud to be who he was, this Kurt had seemed to shrink himself down, never looking up from the floor yet for a few seconds.

"Hello, welcome to Dalton Academy, you must be Kurt Hummel." Kurt glanced at her to show her a little bit of acknowledgement. "I'm Miss Keltington a guidance counselor here at the school. This is the main build, we call it The Nest. It is where the main office, guidance office, infirmary, dining hall, rec center, and library are located." Kurt seemed to zone out as the obnoxiously perky lady proceeded to tell the history of Dalton and its buildings. Miss Keltington pulled out a golden key and held it out to Kurt. "Kurt… Kurt?" Kurt looked up at Miss Keltington, "As I was saying, your dorm in located in Pavarotti. It is located on the left side of campus. It hosts most members of the Warblers, they are the glee club here at the school, and your father told us how you liked to sing. I know you had requested a single dorm but due to your time of transfer we were not able to get you a single, but your roommate, Blaine Anderson, is one of this school's finest." She then pulled out more papers explaining to him that this was the map of the school and his new schedule. Diner would be served from 6-8 in the dining room and curfew was at 11.

Burt and Kurt walked down the hall till they reached room number 354, his dorm. A thousand worries ran through his mind. Kurt was nervous; what if his roommate didn't like him, what if he hated gay kids- Kurt had to stop this. He was here to get better; it is supposed to be safe. He was safe here. Kurt took a deep breath and turned the handle to the room, time to meet his new roommate.


	2. Chapter 2: The Triangular Brows

**A/N: **OMG! You guys are SUPERMEGAFOXYAWESOMEHOT! The emails filled my heart with joy. I was so nervous about this and you guys liked it! I'm so happy. SO I got another chapter done, this one is a bit longer.

Okay, so Kurt gets to meet Blaine! It is in both points of view, you should be able to follow. Its trigger heavy and a little graphic with how Finn finds Kurt... Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Kurt or Blaine (oh how I wish I did!) Ryan Murphy does. *sigh*

Blaine Anderson sat on his bed on his side of the room re-reading his favorite book, _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. _He had made sure to tidy up and clean the other side of his room. He was getting a roommate today. His old one's parents pulled him out of school last month for behavior problems. Tom was always getting into trouble. It was odd for a transfer to happen in the middle of the 2nd quarter, but from what he heard through the grapevine, the transfer needed to take place immediately. Blaine remember when he transferred, it was his sophomore year. He had transferred after the awful Sadie Hawkins Dance scandal. But that was his past, he was here now, safe to be who he is, even without his father's approval, and he had great friends: The Warblers. The Warblers are his best friends; they are the ones who helped him the most after he transferred here. They are his family. Blaine wondered if his roommate liked singing, wondered if he would join the Warblers. Blaine looked up at the door as he heard the lock unlock and saw the handle start to turn, time to meet his new roommate.

Kurt stepped into his new room it was pretty clean and the closet was a decent size. Well, for the new Kurt. The old Kurt would have been horrified on how small the closet was; where would he hang all his clothes, but not this Kurt. He felt eyes on him and heard someone clear their throat. Kurt turned and laid his eyes on the gorgeous man in the whole world. He was his roommate?! Kurt could not believe his eyes. This man with the most amazing hazel eyes and the cute quirky triangle eyebrows was his roommate. Maybe this won't be as bad.

"Hey, I'm Blaine, I'm assuming you Kurt?" Kurt just looked at him and nodded slightly. "Well, Kurt it is nice to meet you!" Blaine held out his hand for a handshake and Kurt tensed up and just stared at it started at the jester. He didn't want Blaine to get a glimpse of his bandages. He already had a neck brace that is ugly as hell and was probably creeping him out right now. Burt walked in carrying two big boxes at that moment.

"Hey Kiddo, where do you want these," He sees Blaine, "Oh, hello, I'm Burt, Kurt's father."

Burt set down the boxes and shook Blaine's hand. "You must be Kurt's roommate, Blade?"

"Blaine, Sir." Blaine responded. "None of that sir crap, it makes me sound old, call me Burt."

Kurt had made his way to sit on his bed awkwardly feeling out of place here.

Blaine watched as his roommate walked in the door. The boy was beautiful, no; beautiful did not do this boy justice. His eyes, those blue-grey globes of oceans showed sadness, fear and hesitation?

"Hey, I'm Blaine, I'm assuming you Kurt?" Blaine said enthusiastic. When he didn't get more than a head nod he proceeded, "Well, Kurt it is nice to meet you!" Blaine held out his hand for a handshake and noticed as the boy's whole demeanor changed. He tensed up and seemed to shrinking down. All Blaine felt was the sudden need to protect this boy. It was obvious that Kurt had gone through something bad the neck brace was proof enough. Blaine had withdrew his hand and looked at the bald mad in a baseball cap who came walking in holding two big boxes.

"Hey Kiddo, where do you want these," the man noticed Blain standing there, "Oh, hello, I'm Burt, Kurt's father."

Burt set down the boxes and shook Blaine's hand. "You must be Kurt's roommate, Blade?"

"Blaine, Sir." Blaine responded in his usual dapper way. "None of that sir crap, it makes me sound old, call me Burt."

Blaine watched Kurt and decided he was going to make it his mission to help this new kid, anyway he could.

Burt cleared his throat to get his attention, "There are a few more boxes down there, Kurt, I will go get them. "Here, I'll help you." Blaine followed Burt out to go get the rest of Kurt's things, leaving Kurt alone.

Kurt heard his father and roommate leave. He was finally alone. He sat on his bed, notebook in hand and stared at the floor. His whole life had changed since_ IT_ happened. It was so unfair, why did so many bad things have to happen in his life, first his mother dying when he was only 8, then his father having an heart attack, not to mention the constant bullying he face, and now this! His life sucks. Why couldn't he have succeeded in his attempt to kill himself? Hell he even sucked at that. He was worthless; Kurt didn't see how anyone could have cared enough to stop him. If Finn hadn't found him in the boy's locker room and had gone home like Kurt told him to he wouldn't be here. He wouldn't have to go through day to day knowing how useless and filthy he was. But no, apparently fate wasn't done screwing with his life. Finn had found him, hanging there and blood dripping from his wrists. If only he had shown up a few minutes later, Kurt wouldn't have to suffer in this God-awful world. A world where people like him, gays, were ridiculed and degraded all because they weren't 'normal' and Lima seemed to be the heart of it. Kurt heard the footsteps and voices of his father and Blaine coming up the stairs. Kurt just opened his notebook and wrote one word, "Thank-you" ready to show it to them.

After Burt had left, promising that Kurt could text him at any time, Kurt and Blaine were left alone. It was around 6:30 and Blaine was helping Kurt unpack, the silence just settling in the air. Blaine didn't press Kurt to talk; he knew that when Kurt was ready, he would.

"So, Kurt, do you want to go to the dining hall, it's time for dinner and we want to get there before all the good stuff is taken," Blaine joked slightly "Plus, I think Jeff and Nick are down there right now, you can meet them." Kurt just nodded and grabbed his notebook and key following Blaine to the dining room. As they walked into the dining room Kurt felt his heart rate increase and his breath become harsher. Blaine looked at Kurt and raised his hand to touch Kurt's arm when the boy jerked away quickly looking terrified. "Kurt, it is okay, you're safe here. No one is going to hurt you, take some deep breaths." Blaine knew all the signs of a panic attack; he used to get them a lot after his attack. He needed to calm Kurt down, but without touching him. Kurt's breathing started to slow and become normal again while Blaine talked and tried to usher Kurt into an area with less traffic. "See, there you go. It is fine, we can talk all the time in the world. Jeff and Nick are probably talking gushy stuff anyway, and trust me; you do not want to see that." Kurt looked at Blaine, there was so much understanding and caring in his heavenly eyes. Blaine just got it. He did try to push Kurt to do anything. It was nice. Kurt took a deep breath and nodded his head to Blaine to let him know he was ready and they walked into the dining room once again heading to get their food and join Blaine's friends.

**A/N: **Okay, I hope you liked, next chapter Kurt gets to meet Jeff and Nick, uh-oh. Reviews=Bowties. And I think I am in the market for a Beta reader. PM if you are interested. See ya soon!


	3. Chapter 3: The Terrifying Touch

**A/N: **This Chapter took me a little while longer, than I got a BETA!

So a SPECIAL thanks to Nalle5friends!

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Glee :(:( Ryan Murphy does.

Blaine led Kurt to the table that currently contained the very energetic Jeff and his other best friend, Nick. Nick was his first friend here at Dalton. He was also the one who helped him come out of his shell and get over how much his father hated who he was. Blaine's father, Arthur Anderson was to say in the least very opinioned man. What is to be expected of a lawyer? He only seemed to see things in black and white. If you stole bread to feed your children, you were as guilty as a murderer. If you were to help a kitty from a tree, you were as holy as a priest. There was no middle ground with Arthur Anderson. If a boy liked other boys instead of girls, well you can guess how that person came across to his father. Nick understood all of this. He was kicked out of his house when he came out to his parents at the age of 13. Luckily, his mom's sister loved him and took him in, eventually sending him to Dalton. Nick was Blaine's best friend. Jeff, Blaine met later when he joined the Warblers. Jeff was the guy who would randomly break into sporadic dance moves in the hallway just for fun. He was a ball of energy. Nick and Jeff were roommates back in their sophomore year and the sexual tension between them was enough for anyone to thank the great wizard god for it being over when they finally got together over back in 3rd quarter of last year. Now they were rarely ever seen without each other, sometimes it made Blaine sick, but they are in love and are cute together.

Blaine sat down with Kurt next to him and smiled at his friends. Kurt awkwardly sat down and looked at his food. He didn't want to draw much attention to himself or feel like a nuisance to anyone at the table.

"Nick…., Jeff…., Nick..., Jeff..." Blaine rolled his eyes at his best friends who were apparently too much into each other to even notice Blaine and Kurt sitting across from them. "Hey, Lovebirds" Blaine threw one of his napkins at them, "This is Kurt, he just transferred here. He is my new roommate. Kurt this is Nick and that is his crazy boyfriend, Blondie."

"Hey, watch it Hobbit!" Jeff responded teasing Blaine back. Nick chuckled at his two friends.

"Hi, Kurt will you be my new best friend?" Jeff exclaimed. Kurt stared at the energetic boy and just shrugged. The boy who seemed to have ants in his pants jumped up off the bench and ran around to sit next to Kurt and giving him a hug. "Yay!"

Kurt went rigid and all the color seemed to drain from his face when Jeff touched him. He stared to literally shake. Kurt stood up quickly breaking out of Jeff's arm and running out, his breathing gone rigid and rapid.

Jeff just stared as the boy ran out of the dining room and had the saddest look on his face because he caused it. Nick seeing his boyfriend's crying face appear quickly went over to comfort him. "Jeff, sweetie, its okay, you didn't know." Jeff just sobbed into Nicks shoulder. Meanwhile, Blaine, worried about his new roommate had gotten up and followed Kurt out of the dining room. "He will never be my friend now!" Jeff whispered to Nick and Blaine before Blaine left.

'Wow they are so out and open. They are cute, how nice it must be to not have to be afraid to show who you really are in school. Stop it Kurt! You can too now' his inner voice shouted. This all seemed too good to be true. He was rooming with an amazing, hot, caring, hot, and compassionate guy, no one has called him the word that is etched into his wrist, and no one seemed to judge Kurt for being here. Though his inner voice seemed to dampen the mood anyhow, 'it is only the first day' he though. It's the weekend and half the boys are probably home anyways. Jeff and Nick were really sweet. Jeff seemed like he had taken 50 shots of express, Kurt reminded himself to never give that boy anything with energy. All was going great until Jeff decided he wanted to give Kurt a hug. 'You brought this on yourself you fag, dressing in those tight-as jeans, well this is what you get for turning me gay, for leading me on you faggot.' HIS words echoed through his mind. Suddenly, the room seemed to be closing in on him and he had to get out of there. Forgetting his bag and dinner Kurt bolted from the dining room, needed to get out of there, to get away from the terrors that were invading his mind. Luckily, Kurt managed to make it to his dorm only to have forgotten his key in the dining hall. He collapsed in the hallway outside his door, his whole body shaking from the torturous memories that plagues his vision and mind at that moment. He heard someone come up to him and kneel down, but he couldn't make out what he was saying. Kurt was too far into his mind to know what was going on around him.

Blaine had followed Kurt and had brought Kurt's stuff with him until they came to their room. He watched Kurt collapse to the floor and lucky for him Trent, a fellow Warbler, was leaving his room right as it happened. "Trent, go get the nurse, tell her it's an emergency." Blaine slowly approached Kurt after Trent ran off. "Kurt…. Kurt, you need to breath, none of what is happened right now in your head is real. Kurt…" Blaine slowly reached Kurt and knelt down and started to reach out for Kurt's hands when the boy lurched back and stared ahead, his eyes screaming out in terror but nothing coming out his throat. Kurt had tears streaming down his face. "Kurt, you're okay now, you're safe. No one can hurt you." Blaine tried to calm down his panicked roommate. 'Where the hell is Trent with the Nurse?' Blaine stared at the terrified boy in front of him and wondered what happened to make this beautiful boy in front of him look that terrified and broken.

**A/N: **

Once again I want to thank my Beta! Please R&R.

The chapter is a small flashback, but it won't go into detail about what happened to Kurt. Sorry, I need to keep you guys reading somehow ;).


	4. Chapter 4: A Protector's Arms

**A/N: **Okay, so this is a trigger heavy chapter. I wrote it last night on my phone, and thanks to my Wonderful Beta- Nalle5friends, its ready to be uploaded. Here we get to knowa little of what happened to Kurt. **Warnings** for this Chapter: Homosexual abuse, Attempted suicide, depression thoughts.

I hope you guys like it!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own glee or any of the characters mentioned in this fic. Ryan Murphy does.

Blaine knelt by Kurt and tried to calm the shattered boy down. He looked into the blue orbs and saw darkness, Kurt seemed to be in a bad and scary place, a place where Blaine did not want Kurt to be. It seemed to take ages for Trent to come back with the nurse. knelt down next to Kurt, "Kurt. Sweetie, Its Mrs. Polonal, I need you to calm down," she then turned to Blaine, "Can you help me get him into your room so he can calm down?" Blaine responded, "Yes, but how? He won't let anyone touch him." Mrs. Polonal looked at Kurt then Blaine, "He will understand later, but right now we have to."

Blaine looked at Kurt worriedly, "Okay." He tossed Trent his keys to unlock the door and he went to Kurt. "I'm really sorry Kurt, but we need to get you out of the hallway." Blaine then went to scoop Kurt in his arms and carry the shaking boy into their room. Blaine had felt Kurt twist and start to struggle out of Blaine's grasp and then he started to scream. Mrs. Polonal had tried her best to help the young boys out. Kurt, after a few moments seemed to stop struggling and he curled into the safe arms of Blaine, somehow aware of his surroundings now. Blaine looked down at the shattered boy in his arms surprised at how the boy seemed to calm down after realizing it was Blaine. Blaine laid him down on his bed and watched Kurt curl into a ball. The nurse asked Trent to leave and head down to the guidance office to get Miss Keltington, which left only Blaine to wait anxiously to find out if his roommate would be alright. 'How do I feel so much for someone I've known so for little?' It was weird, how close Blaine felt to Kurt. Like he and Kurt belonged.

Kurt's mind and body were not in the same place, his body was shaking in the hallway at Dalton Academy, but his mind was in a much darker place.

'His body felt icky, disgusting, used.' Kurt cowerd on the locker room floor, blood dripping from his wrist and tears from his eyes. 'FAG' was carved onto each of his wrists, 'this is a reminder to what you are and how you will never belong or be loved you cock slut.' The words echoed through his find. Kurt was sick of it. He was sick of being the source of ridicule and entertainment for HIM. He was sick of having to apologize for who he was. He felt ashamed and like an embarrassment to his father. His farther deserved a better son, one who he could watch football with, talk about girls with, not one who liked tea parties and playing dress up. He was a failure, worthless boy who didn't deserve to be here. Kurt walked into the weight room of the gym, his blood leaving a trail behind him and a rope in his hand. It was time to end this, time for him to see his mother again, time for him to stop being judged and tortured. Kurt had tears streaming down his face and he pulled the chair over, to the hanging rope. Kurt had left a note in his backpack, having it written for quite some time, they would find it. His father had Carol had Finn, the perfect son his father always wanted, his dad would be fine without him. Kurt climbed the chair and looked at his surroundings; the blood pooling around his feet. He could feel his body draining as the blood from his wrists continued to flow. Kurt didn't hear the door to the locker-room open or hear someone call his name. All he could think about was the rope in front of him. He placed the rope around his neck and tightened so it was snug and prepared to step off the chair. 'KURT! NO!' was the last thing he heard before taking the step off the chair.

Kurt's mind now came back to his body and he realized he was screaming and that someone's strong arms were supporting him and carrying him into a room. Kurt started to squirm and struggle only to look up at his keeper and to see that it was Blaine. He doesn't know why, but for some reason, feeling Blaine's strong arms and calloused hands made him feel somewhat safe. Kurt stopped struggling and curled into his strong protector arms and inhaled his warm scent. It smelt delicious, like some cheap cologne but with a musky scent of Blaine. Kurt liked it, he felt warm and safe. When Blaine set him down he lost all that warmth and safety feeling. He curled up into a ball hugging his pillow and trying to hold onto that feeling of being in Blaine's arms.

Kurt was slowly becoming aware of his surroundings. He knew he was at Dalton, in his and Blaine's room. There was Blaine here and some other lady he didn't know. The lady carefully sat down next to him and handed him a glass of water and two small yellow pills. Kurt took them shyly not looking up from his notebook that sat on his lap that Blaine had managed to carry in with him. They were both staring at him waiting for him to talk but all he did was nod a thank-you. Mrs. Polonial, as Kurt found out, then proceeded to check Kurt's bandages on his wrist and neck to see of any of them needed to be changed, and it so happened that Kurt has re-opened his left wrist's cuts and she started unwrapping the bandage. Once it was unwrapped Kurt heard a small gasp come from Blaine. Kurt became self-conscious and turned away pulling his hand close to his body. Kurt didn't want Blaine to see that. Surely, Blaine wouldn't want to room with a fag. Mrs. Polonial spoke up, "Kurt it's okay. But I need to clean it and then I'll give you a brand new bandage. "

Kurt sighed and gave her his wrist. Mrs. Keltington came in after his wrist was fixed. She asked Kurt some questions to which he just nodded, shrugged, and shook his head.

After all that Kurt laid in his bead, staring up at the ceiling. It was now about 10 at night. Blaine wasn't asleep in the bed across the room from him, but they had turned off the light to try and sleep.

"Kurt, I'm sorry I had to touch you today. I'm also sorry for whatever you are going through. I went through something similar. I was bullied because of being gay. But coming to Dalton and meeting the warblers really helped. Well I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm here if you want to talk or write or whatever. Just so you know that I'm here to listen if you need me." Blaine said softly. Kurt wanted so badly to say 'thank you' but he couldn't get the words out. Kurt looked at Blaine and wrote 'Thank you' on a sheet of paper getting up and giving it to him. Then simply walked back to his bed and laying down. Blaine looked at the sheet of paper using his phone's light. Blaine knew it took so much for that boy to write two simple words. But it mentioned so much. Time passed and Kurt was almost asleep when Blaine spoke again.

"Kurt," Blaine whispered and Kurt turned to face him, "Sorry. I just wanted to tell you, that you are not what your wrist says. No one deserves to have that or be called it. I just want you to know that you aren't that. You are beautiful."

Kurt listened to Blaine and just moved by what he said. It meant so much to Kurt to hear someone say that. Kurt looked at Blaine and barely audible forced out three simple words, "Blaine, thank you." With that Kurt closed his eyes. Blaine was shocked by the boy's voice, even though it was soft and he was barely able to hear it, it sounded angelic. Blaine was touched and bewildered at how Kurt spoke to him. Blaine closed his eyes and. Drifted off to sleep, with Kurt's angelic voice saying his name in his head.

**A/N: **So there you guys go. Its weried that I do not have a plot map for this. I just write what comes to my mind. Anyway R&R. I can't promise when I will update next, I have to write it and I just started school back up so i have more work and less time. Add me on Tumblr too: Starkid-Junkie


	5. Chapter 5: Tremors in the Dark

**A/N:** Please don't hate me. I know its been 10 days since I last updated. But I went out of town where I was REALLY busy. Then When I got back I got sick. I had flu like symptoms it was terrible. I slept 12 hours straight. I originally planned on having this done by Tuesday, but that didn't happen. Plus I have my school word which is getting hectic, I have a paper due in Humanities due every other week. Its hard. Anywho, this is Chapter 5, it is kinda a filler chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own glee, ryan murphy does. If owned Glee there would be more Darren Criss's ass time.

Without Further ado, I give you: Tremors in the Dark.

Kurt awoke with a scream in his throat as his bandages ruffled along with his neck brace. His heart was racing and his breathing was harsh and rapid. He looked at the clock: 3 am. '_Why did I allow myself to sleep so much!' _ Kurt glanced over at a Blaine as the memories of last night came back to him_ 'he said I was beautiful'. _Kurt sat up and made his way to the bathroom to try and clean himself up, soaked in sweat from his nightmare. He looked in the mirror and shivered. '_How could Blaine think he was beautiful?'_ Kurt looked at his image in the mirror incredulously. He was way too thin, '_you're so thin I'm surprised you're not a girl'. _HIS words rang though Kurt's mind. His skin was so pale, like a vampire they'd say, except for the parts where he was black, blue, or yellow from all the locker slams he endured. Hell, he even had slightly scars on his back from the sharp edges. '_Obviously, trying to knock the gay out of you didn't work, maybe we should cut it'_ Kurt shuddered at the memory of _that day_. Taking a deep breath, Kurt splashed water on his face, deciding it was too early to take a shower; he didn't want to wake Blaine. After he'd put on a clean shirt, Kurt went back into the room, sat on his bed and hugged his knees. He was too exhausted to do anything but sleep, but he was too scared to go back to sleep. Somehow, Kurt must have fallen asleep because he was woken up again around 5, thrashing back and forth. His covers long gone, Blaine had sat down next to him and was trying to calm him down.

"Kurt, wake up. It's just a dream. It's me Blaine, you're safe. It's just a dream, Kurt... wake up." Blaine said pleadingly trying to wake up his distraught roommate. He gently placed his hands on Kurt's shoulder. "Shh. You're okay Kurt, relax, you're okay" he said soothingly. Kurt jolted up with wide eyes. Blaine stared at the frightened blue orbs and looked worried. He remembered when he would have nightmares. It was terrible. You couldn't sleep, you were too afraid to. "Kurt, you're okay... it's just me Blaine, you are safe."

Kurt jolted up causing pain in his neck. His breathing was rapid and his eyes darted around the room. He heard Blaine's gentle words. For some reason, Blaine had a way of calming him down. He was so understanding and patient. Kurt liked it. He was so gentle. Just like now, as Kurt stared into the warm Carmel glops of compassion in front of him, Kurt felt his body relax. He was safe here. BLAINE made him safe. Blaine had removed his hand from Kurt's shoulder to reach over and turn on his lamp and Kurt felt a yearning. He wanted to feel Blaine's touch again, and that was weird. KURT didn't touch. Not since _IT _happened, Kurt didn't even let his father touch him. It was strange seeing how he just met this Blaine guy less than 24 hours ago.

Blaine removed his hand to turn on the light beside them; so that if Kurt wanted to talk he could write it and Blaine could see to read it. All Blaine wanted was to wrap Kurt in a blanket and hold him in his arms till Blaine could chase away the darkness in that delicate mind of Kurt's. "Do you want to talk about it?" Blaine asked sitting next to Kurt. Kurt shook his head staring at his hands. Blaine stood up, went over to his closet and pulled out a box, "How a about some coffee?" Kurt looked over at Blaine and nodded, Kurt loved coffee. "Okay, how would you like it?" Blaine asked amusingly. He heard Kurt writing and as Blaine was turning on the coffee pot, he walked over to see what Kurt wrote, **"Well, usually I get a Grande non-fat mocha, but I'll just take it black with some cream and sugar."** Blaine smiles, "Okay, coming up in a moment," and he went back to making the coffee. After the coffee was done Blaine sat on Kurt's bed with him drinking his coffee. "So I think we should get to know each other? Would you like that, I mean well we are going to be roommates," Blaine nervously said. Kurt just shrugged and sipped his coffee, the fogginess from the nightmare starting to fade. Blaine thought for a moment when he got an idea and got up going to his closet. Kurt watched Blaine confusedly and wondered what that boy was up too. After rummaging through his closet for about 15 minutes, Blaine found what he was looking for and came back over to Kurt holding two white boards and markers, with this big grin on his face. Kurt looked at Blaine and smiles a little, but it didn't reach his eyes.

After Blaine had calmed Kurt down and they chatted it was 7:30 and they had to start getting ready for classes. Blaine was laughing over something Kurt wrote and he looked at the clock, "Do you mind if I use the shower first?" Kurt motioned to the bathroom is a "sure" jester. Blaine smiled, "Thanks, it takes a while to get this," he motioned to the mop on his head, "to lie down." Kurt looked at Blaine and wrote: "I like the curls." Blaine's smile grew, "But the curls don't like me," he said then ducked into the bathroom with his clothes. Blaine liked Kurt, he was so down to earth and '_cut-_ _no stop! He doesn't need that ri__ght now. Kurt needs him to be his friend not anything more', __he_ scolded himself as he got into the shower. About 20 minutes later Blaine was out with his afro all gelled down, "all yours, then I'll show you to your classes." Kurt nodded and took his things into the bathroom to get ready.

**A/N: **So I hope you all liked it! Like I said more of a filler chapter. Chapter 6 I'm introducing the WARBLERS! including mr. meercat sebastion... dun dun dun. Well Untill Next time.

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	6. Chapter 6: The Sebastard Strikes

**A/N: **

Okay so I had fun writing Sebastion:) Here is Chapter 6. I don't know when Chapter 7 will be up, I have so much work to get done. So here you go:

**update: ** SO I realized that the dialog got messed up. to clarify:

_Kurt's thought_

_**Kurt's written response**_

**Blaine**

Nick

**Sebastion**

**Disclaimer: ** I do not own Glee :(:( Ryan Murphy does

20 minutes later, Kurt walked out of the bathroom, dressed and ready for his first day at Dalton. The old Kurt would have taken 45 minutes to get ready, after all his face creams, hair styling, and picking out his clothes. The new Kurt couldn't care less. He wanted nothing more than to blend into the shadows. He still did his facial routine but, everything else he didn't bother with. Blaine was there, on his phone, waiting for Kurt to finish up. _'He is so sweet, and that blazer really does suit him_'. Kurt couldn't help but stare at him. After Kurt was done ogling his roommate he went over to his bed to grab his bag. It was already packed and it had a map out already. **"I thought I'd help you out. The good news is that Nick, Jeff or I am in all of your classes."** Blaine said startling Kurt as he came up behind him. Kurt stiffened when hearing Blaine's voice. He didn't like people sneaking up behind him. **"Sorry I startled you**," Blaine said noticing Kurt's discomfort. "**So first class you have is AP English with Mr. Bell, Nick is in that class, so he can help you catch up.**" Blaine explained while they walked out of their room heading to their classes. Kurt stared at Blaine in awe at how much work Blaine has done for him already. Then when Blaine explained how Nick - 'which one was Nick again?'-was in his class. _**"You know my schedule already?**"_ Kurt wrote and showed it to Blaine, **"Well I, er, figured I'd, uh, get things ready for you and make your first day here at Dalton, uh, er, a good one!**" Blaine stumbled out the words hoping he hadn't sounded too dumb. Kurt looked at him with a teasing look and wrote, "**_Oh how dapper of you Blaine, thanks, no one has ever done that for me_**_."_ Blaine chuckled, **"We should get to class, Nick is saving you a seat.**"

Blaine walked Kurt to his English class and surely enough; there was Nick, in the back with an empty seat right next to him. Kurt walked to the back, head lowered and making himself as small as possible to avoid bringing attention to him. Nick looked up and saw Kurt taking the desk right next to him. "Hey Kurt, I don't know of you really remember me. I'm Nick, Blaine's best friend, don't tell Jeff that, he thinks he owns that title,"Nick said friendly to him. Kurt just nodded and looked at the board coping down the questions.

"So, how was your first night here at Dalton?" Kurt just shrugged to Nick's question. Nick looked at Kurt wondering why he didn't talk or really respond back to Nick. 'He is just shy' Nick thought.

"So Mr. Bell is a pretty easy teacher, right now we are reading Catcher in the Rye, have you read it?" Kurt nodded to Nick, "Well, then you should be good. I can help if you need any." 

Kurt listened to Nick as he explained what was going on and soon the class was full and Mr. Bell started to teach talking about the 10 minute presentations that we would be starting with a partner. "Okay class, pair up, you and your partner will prepare a 10 minute oral presentation on chapter 8, I expect each member to participate and do equal amounts of talking and presenting." Mr. Bell explained to the class who were already heading to their partners. Nick looked over at Kurt wondering if he would be his partner and nodded. Kurt was internally freaking out, _I'm going to have to talk, but I can't no, I can't its… no, _Kurt thought.

"Okay partner, well chapter 8 was my favorite, do you have any ideas on what to do for the presentation?" Nick said enthusiastically as he scooted his desk closer to Kurt, but making sure to leave enough space in order to make Kurt feel comfortable. _"**I don't know, I mean we could do a power point or something**."_ Kurt wrote to Nick. "A power point is what everyone does, what if we did like a song- " Nick stopped mid-sentence when Mr. Bell walked over to their group. "How are you boys doing? I hope Nick here helped you catch up," Kurt nodded, "Good, well Kurt, you do not have to talk during your presentation. I have been notified about your issue and it is perfectly fine. I just wanted to come over to let you know, I have no doubt that Nick can handle all the talking." Kurt let out a breath that he didn't even realize he was holding and nodded.

"Sweet, I love talking. So do you play any instruments?" Nick inquired. "_I play piano, but I haven't in a while._" Kurt wrote unsteadily. "That's great! We can so do a song, and a mini power point!" Nick practically bounced in his seat as the bell rang.' I can see why he and Jeff are dating', Kurt thought silently, pulling out his schedule to see what class was next; AP French. Nick looked over at Kurt, "Blaine said you would have AP French next, he asked me to show you to your next class, He said he would meet you there." He looked up at Nick and nodded as they walked out of the classroom and towards the 'F' building.

When he and Nick arrived at his French class, Blaine wasn't there yet. Nick had gone off to his next class leaving Kurt alone in the classroom with a bunch of unknown boys. Kurt quickly made his way to the corner of the room to try and get away from the curious eyes that he had somehow drawn the attention of, however; he had no such luck. As made his way to an empty seat a tall meerkat looking kid blocked his way. **"Hey sexy, you are looking pretty fine. Now you must be new because someone with a body like yours would have definitely already caught my eye and been in my bed. So, what's your name princess?"** The slimy guy said, blocking Kurt's path. Kurt just looked at tall boy in front of him, feeling uneasy and suddenly claustrophobic. **"Lay off Sebastard, he isn't interested in a walking STD like you.**" Blaine said coming up next to Kurt and glaring at the guy in front of him. **"****Well hello to you too Blaine, always saving the damsel in distress-"**. He was cut off as Mademoiselle Gelleno walked in, "Prenez votre classe sièges"(Take your seats class). The meerkat let them through and took his seat next to his annoying buddies, while Blaine and Kurt took the two seats in the back corner. Blaine looked over at Kurt to see if he was alright, Kurt just shook his head hesitantly and listened to the teacher ramble off instructions in French.

**A/N: So I hope you all enjoyed that! Please R&R. GUYS GUYS GUYS, TOMORROW OUR DARREN TURNS 26!-SQUEEEE-**

**Spoilers below for 4.12: **

OMG TINA=US! I love the way she describes Blaine's butt. I can't wait till DIVA!


	7. Chapter 7: A Text From Hell

**A/N:** Okay so here is Chapter 7, sorry for the wait, I go swamped with work, still am, but I wanted to get this to you guys before I go out of town. Speaking of which, I will be going out of town Friday and won't be back till Monday Night and will have no access to electronics in anyway. :( But I hope you guys enjoy. **Trigger warning: Suicidal thoughts and self-harm. **

Follow me on Tumblr! my URL is: theTARDISistakingmetoPigfart s

**disclaimer:** I do not own glee, or any of the character, Ryan Murphy does. I do however own a little blue tardis.

ENJOY!

As French ended, Blaine and Kurt got up and headed down the stairwell towards Kurt's next class. The stairwell was filled with students running down in a hurry. Kurt looked at with confusion, wondering what the commotion was about. Blaine, without thought, grabbed Kurt's hand and pulled him down the stairs, "I know a shortcut." Kurt tensed up at the sudden contact and then couldn't help but stare at their hands, 'he's holding my hand'. Blaine led them away from the crowd of people. When they ended back up with everyone else, he saw Nick and Jeff standing around with some other guys facing the group of boys. Blaine smiled at Kurt and handed some guy his bag going and went to stand in front of the group. Then suddenly Kurt eyes widened. They started singing.

You think I'm pretty without any make-up on

You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong

I know you get me, so I let my walls come down, down

Blaine's voice sent chills up his body. It filled him like oxygen and all Kurt wanted to do was listen to him.

Before you met me, I was alright

But things were kinda heavy, you brought me to life

Now every February you'll be my valentine, valentine

Kurt was mesmerized by Blaine as he swayed back and forth. He felt like a small part of his old self was coming back, which in turn scared him.

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I, we'll be young forever

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream

The way you turn me on, I can't sleep

Let's runaway and don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

My heart stops when you look at me

Just one touch, now baby I believe

This is real, so take a chance

And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

Blaine stared at Kurt as he continued to sing.

We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach

Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets

I finally found you, my missing puzzle piece

I'm complete

Those golden globes shined brightly giving Kurt a small sliver of comfort.

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I, we'll be young forever

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream

The way you turn me on, I can't sleep

Let's runaway and don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

My heart stops when you look at me

Just one touch, now baby I believe

This is real, so take a chance

And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

Just when Kurt didn't think Blaine could surprise him anymore he sang the bridge.

I'm a get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Kurt looked over at the other students as they listened, they looked at them as if they were rock stars. 'Wow, these guys are like superstars here'.

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream

The way you turn me on, I can't sleep

Let's runaway and don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

My heart stops when you look at me

Just one touch, now baby I believe

This is real, so take a chance

And don't ever look back, don't ever look back

I'm a get your heart racing in my skin-tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me in my skin-tight jeans

Be your teenage dream tonight

Blaine smiled as they finished and walked back over to Kurt followed by Nick, Jeff and a few other boys. "Hey Kurt, sorry I almost forgot about the Warblers performance today. We are getting ready for sectionals."

"Do you sing?" One of the guy asked right away. Kurt just stared at the guy and shrugged.

"Wes, give Kurt space, you don't need to jump every new kid the moment you see them," Blaine chuckled as did the other guys, "Kurt, this maniac is Wes, he is part of the Warblers' Council along with David and Thad. This is Trent, James, Max, and Kole".

Kurt just stood there as Blaine introduced his other friends to him.

The rest of the day seemed to go smoothly. Kurt managed to get through most the day without another panic attack, that is until dinner. Kurt was sitting with Blaine, Nick, Jeff and a few other Warblers. There's Wes, the guy who Blaine said is obsessed with his gavel; David, Wes's secret boyfriend (which Kurt really didn't understand); Trent, a cutie who apparently is in love with Kole; and a couple others who he couldn't remember the name of. Kurt just sat there quietly, not really eating his food just sort of picking at it, when his phone vibrated. He figured it was his dad so he flipped open his phone and just checked the message, not bothering to look at the number. Kurt's face instantly drained of color and his hand began to shake. His breathing became harsher and his vision began to blur. Kurt herd the commotion of the Warblers around him as all the attention focused on him and just sat there trying to calm down. 'No, why couldn't I finish the god-damn job, then I wouldn't have to worry about HIM finding me'. Kurt needed to get out of there, he needed to cut, needed release. He needed to just end this to be safe, for once.

Kurt felt a hand reach across the table at him to try and calm his shaking hand. He tensed and grabbed his things, bolting away from the dining room. Kurt ran straight to his room, remembering his key this time. He opened the door, locked it and threw his stuff down. He rushed into the bathroom and locked the door. Blaine didn't need to see him this way. Once in the bathroom Kurt dropped to his knees holding his gut shaking as sobs racked his throat. His shaking hand reached up and ripped off the brace that was around his neck, he needed to feel some kind of pain, any kind. His dad didn't let him bring any razors and had thrown out all of Kurt's stash once he found the cuts on his legs. Kurt's eyes darted around the bathroom looking for something anything. His neck was in pain but it wasn't enough. Kurt unwrapped his wrists and saw the words carved into his skin. 'That's what you will always be', his inner voice sneered at him. Kurt stared and just broke into sobs curling into the fetal position on the bathroom floor.

**A/N: **SO I hope you all liked it, that was hard to write, I love my Kurtie! Please R & R.

I CANNOT WAIT TILL THURSDAY AND WE GET KLAINE AGAIN! I am like FREEAKING OUT!


	8. Chapter 8: Two Little Words

**A/N:**

Please don't kill me, I know its been a while, butI got busy. This chapter is a short one. It is basically just Blaine's response/reaction. I hope you all enjoy. I do not know when I will update next. I have a busy, next two weeks. Next week, I turn 18 XD MARCH 7TH TO BE EXACT THE SAME DAY GLEE IS BACK! Then the week after that is Tech week for my show. so. I also need to figure out my plan for the next chapter. Without further adoo, I give you Chapter 8. AND THANK-YOU TO MY AWESOME BETA: Nalle5frends, SHE IS AWESOME AND SO PAITENT WITH ME, love you!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Glee, Ryan Murphy does.

Blaine was at dinner with Kurt and some more of the Warblers. They all decided they were going to help Kurt recover, much like they helped him when he transferred in the middle of his freshman year. Kurt seemed to be having a good day. There were no panic attacks and Kurt seemed slightly more engaged. That was until dinner.

Blaine was sitting with Kurt, Nick, Jeff, Wes, David, Trent and a few other warblers at their normal table. Kurt was seated next to him making small answers to questions with his notebook. Most of which were one-liners or pass. Jeff and Nick were in the middle of a heated debate that had Blaine's attention so he didn't notice Kurt pull his phone out and check a text. Blaine glanced at Kurt to give him a smile and saw him pale, almost to the point of translucent and his hands were shaking holding a phone. Blaine turned his whole body towards Kurt and started to reach for his hands to stop the shaking while the rest of the Warblers observed with worry. "**Kurt, what is it? Whatever it is, you are safe here. Kurt...Kurt...**", Blaine tried to calm down his terrified roommate. Before Blaine's hand reached Kurt's, he bolted from the dining hall. Nick and Jeff looked at Blaine who got up and followed after the blue-eyed boy. The remaining Warblers all stared after them in a shock like state. They haven't seen episodes like this since Blaine came here. Jeff and Nick excused themselves after Blaine going to make sure Kurt would be alright.

When Blaine got to his room he wasn't surprised to find it locked. Blaine nocked gently on the door "**Kurt**?". When there was no response he pulled out his key and gently opened the door easing into the room. There was no sign of Kurt, just his bag, notebook, and cellphone which were thrown on the floor. Blaine reached down and gathered his items and placed them on the bed. The text message still was open on the lit screen of Kurt's phone and Blaine couldn't help but look at it, out of concern. _'Hey Ladyface, thought you could hide from me, did you? Well too bad you were too girly you couldn't even kill yourself correctly. I know you told that idiot step-brother of yours. Once I find where you are... you will wish you hadn't been too much of coward and finished the job'_

Blaine stared at the message eyes wide and filled with anger. '_Whoever this is will not lay a breath on Kurt',_he thought angrily, venom seeping from his thoughts. He needed to find Kurt. Blaine looked around the room and saw the bathroom door shut. Blaine went and tried the handle, locked. Luckily he had the key. Blaine turned the unlocked door and pulled it open, before Blaine's eyes laid a shattered Kurt, curled in a ball, with his neck brace thrown aside along with his bandages. Kurt laid there in the fetal position and Blaine swore he could hear his heart break at the site of the boy. Blaine slowly eased his way closer to Kurt and lower to the ground. **"Kurt, shhh, it's okay. You're safe. He can't hurt you here. Shhhh Kurt. It's Blaine. I've got you. Shhh**", Blaine uttered soothing words as he pulled the broken boy into his arms, rocking him back and forth. Kurt cried into Blaine's chest. Blaine held back his tears as he tried to calm Kurt down. He looked up as Nick and Jeff walked into his dorm. Jeff and Nick both gasped at the site of Kurt and the awful red word that were carved into his wrist. Jeff reached for his boyfriend as tears began to fall from his eyes. Nick took Jeff into a tight embrace "we'll go get the nurse," he said and led a tearful Jeff out of the room.

Blaine carefully lifted Kurt's light body into his arms and onto Blaine's bed not letting go of him for a second and Blaine himself crawled next to him. Kurt had begun to slow his shaking but sobs still wrecked his body muttering the phrase 'only wanted to be safe', over and over again.

Blaine and Kurt stayed like that until the nurse came and fixed up his bandages, and even at that, Blaine would not let go of Kurt, who just sat there silently. After the nurse left, Blaine stared at Kurt for a moment before letting him go and sit on his own bed. "**Kurt, I promise I won't let him, whoever he is, touch you. Ever. Again**.",Blaine said with tears in his eyes. Kurt just looked at Blaine silently, '_he actually cares about me',_ and the thought breezed through his mind as a shy tear escaped his eye. Kurt bound over to Blain in one glide and embraced him in a hung and muttered two little words. _**"Thank. You."**_

**A/N:**

So I hope you guys liked it. I know its short. Please R&R, more reviews=faster I write. XD Till next time: NERD-OUT!


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